Sports Satire by Christopher C. Wuensch
Months after a November photo revealed a drastic difference in Sammy Sosa’s now-lighter skin tone, the infamous Chicago Cubs slugger admits attempts to “desaparezca fuera de vista.”
Translation: disappear out of sight.
A frail Sosa was a mere shell of his former 6-foot, 220-pound Earth-thundering self when he sat down recently with reporters. Slammin’ Sammy—he of a sixth-best all-time 609 dingers and a U-Haul full of steroid allegations in tow—confessed to recently taking a herbal supplement grown along the shoreline of the Yaque Del Sur river of his native Dominican Republic.
The ground-root herb cocktail Sosa had been ...
